Alexandra Green cradled her beautiful two-year-old boy who, with a dummy in his mouth, was enjoying a peaceful nap cuddled up against his mum.
“It’s been a difficult journey. I wasn’t alone, but I was definitely unprepared.” She said, stroking her son’s face as she sat back into her brown leather armchair. The room was warm and cosy and the smell of baby powder was present in the air. There was a bookshelf in the corner of the living room adorned with pictures of her son and fiancé, Liam. Amongst them was a scan photo of Kian, which stood proudly amid the collection.
At the age of 17, Alexandra became pregnant. She was working at a temp agency in Warrington Town Centre and worried if having a child so young would be a decision she would live to regret. She had recently started a new relationship and wondered how he would react to the surprising news. She also had no idea what path she wanted to take with her life. Alex had a lot to consider.
“I definitely had the potential to go to university, but honestly, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I felt a bit lost, confused at what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be” explained Alex who was still cradling her son who slept quietly in her arms.
The smell of freshly washed baby clothes and heaps of brightly coloured children’s toys overwhelmed her small flat, located in Grappenhall, a small village just outside of Warrington.
“Sorry about the mess, it’s a constant job keeping this place tidy.” She said, chuckling to herself and wiping away a few crumbs off the wooden coffee table next to her.
“Becoming pregnant at such a young age was a shock to the system in so many ways, I assumed I was just going to become another statistic and, in a way, I thought I would be seen as ‘just another girl who chose sex over school’.”
Britain is currently the highest ranking country in Western Europe for teenage pregnancies with a ratio of 19.7 births per 1,000 women aged 15-19 in the UK as opposed to the in EU average of only 12.6 births per 1,000. With parts of society blaming the commercial world for the “sexploitation” of young adults and teenagers within advertising. Whilst others criticise the lack of sex education within the school system.
“High school was easy for me, but towards the end of it, I guess you could say I fell into the wrong crowd… I used to be one of the girls that always had a boyfriend, not necessarily because I wanted one, but because it was seen as weird to not be in a relationship.”
Alex shifted in her chair slightly, no longer facing me but staring at her little toddler as if she was trying to memorise all the tiny details of his perfectly innocent face. She slowly moved off her chair and walked over to a mahogany crib in the corner of the room. She placed Kian gently on the blue mattress and wrapped him up in a blue blanket decorated with racing cars. She wandered back over to the armchair and sat back down taking a more comfortable position.
“My son is absolutely the best thing that has and will ever happen to me but of course, there are some things I wish I could change. I mean, I’m nearly 21 and I’ve never been on a night out, which I know is a bit unusual. A lot of my friends have been on holiday as a group which is also something I know I missed out on, but I have had to take responsibly for my baby and this has made me grow up quicker”
Like all mothers know, having a baby is a life-changing event, it requires a lot of personal growth and is a huge learning experience. Having a child takes a lot of commitment and responsibility no matter what your age.
“I’m glad the early months after his birth are behind me now and I’ve settled down with Liam and my beautiful boy. I don’t feel like I’m missing out anymore because my son makes me so happy and I’m proud to be a mother even though I’m young. Although, sometimes I do notice people looking at me and judging which can make me a bit miserable because they don’t know me or my story.”
She glanced over at the cot and a touch of sadness appeared in her eyes. Alex pulled her phone out of her pocket and searched for a picture of Kian in the hospital. He was attached to a ventilator and looked so fragile and small.
“It was a hard time for both Liam and me, there was a chance my baby wouldn't make it as he had very serious health complications. He was born with a condition called Exomphalos, where his bowel was protruding out of his body.
Exomphalos affects one in every 5,000 children and is caused by a weakness in the baby's abdominal wall which allows the organs to grow in a loose sac attached to the umbilical cord outside of the body.
“He had to be put on a ventilator for a number of days with constant around the clock care from the nurses and doctors at the hospital”
She put her phone back in her pocket and walked back over to the crib where Kian was starting to stir after his nap.
“He pulled through without any long-term conditions and that’s the main thing.” She said, picking her baby up and putting him over her shoulder. She kissed him on the forehead and gave him a toy giraffe from the shelf and he instantly started to giggle at.
“I wish people would understand that being a good mum has nothing to do with your age, it’s about being able to provide your baby with everything they need and giving them all the love and kindness to grow into well-balanced, happy people.”
Kian was still giggling and laughing as she placed him in his highchair and got him ready for his tea. She turned to me and with real confidence in her words, said, “I don’t think the experience of giving birth was any different to an older woman. People do judge, but at the end of the day, I don’t think any women are ready to give birth to their first child no matter what age, just because I’m young doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”